Dad Jokes

(Parody of “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift)

[Chorus]
Hey, listen up to these dad jokes
You know they’re not that bad, folks
So take a look at these puns
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes, ha!
Now my family
They stopped talking to me
I’ve had relative silence
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes, ha!
 
[Verse 1]
Did you hear about this?
How do conspiracy theorists acknowledge
Short wave radio? Tin foil good buddy.
Did you know seven
Days in a week? Sunday starts out strong
By the end energy is gone
And when energy’s gone, you feel weakened.
 
[Pre-Chorus]
So like a dad you
See the colorful puns with
Hue-man eyes
 
[Chorus]
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes
You know they’re not that bad, folks
So take a look at these puns
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes, ha!
My mom made lasagna
And it’s saying profound thoughts
She made a really deep dish
And people, now we’ve got dad jokes, ha!
 
[Verse 2]
Haystack thief went to jail
He got caught, now held without bale
A skillet’s color’s pantone
These kinds of jokes, you laugh or you groan
Getting started, we’re not through
Female sheep story is all about ewe
Ford filled with water’s a carpool
A cat’s favorite color is purr-ple
 
[Pre-Chorus]
So like a dad you
See the colorful puns with
Hue-man eyes
 
[Chorus]
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes
You know they’re not that bad, folks
So take a look at these puns
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes, ha!
TV shows are programs
But I don’t like to use metric
Word play, double meaning
So people, here are more dad jokes, ha!
 
[Bridge]
Lists about guns have bullet points
People with weed move their joints
A friar with Doritos is a chip monk
Lists about guns have bullet points
People with weed move their joints
A friar with Doritos is a chip monk
Like a well-cooked steak, we’re almost done
 
[Chorus]
Hey, listen up to these dad jokes
You know they’re not that bad, folks
So take a look at these puns
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes, ha!
TV shows are programs
But I don’t like to use metric  (Don’t like metric)
Profound lasagna’s a deep dish
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes, ha!
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes
You know they’re not that bad, folks
So take a look at these puns (Look at these puns)
Yeah people, now we’ve got dad jokes, ha!
TV shows are programs
But I don’t like to use metric
Profound lasagna’s a deep dish
Now that’s all of our dad jokes, ha!

Tasty Pie

(Parody #2 of “Testify” by NEEDTOBREATHE)

[Chorus]
Hand me a plate, hand me a fork
What’s for dessert tonight?
Here at the table, I’m gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie

[Verse 1]
With ice cream, it’s pie ala mode
Oh, do I want a scoop or two?
Wait just a sec. I could use a spoon
Oh, here’s just what I’m going to do
Eat it before it gets cold.

[Chorus]
Hand me a plate, hand me a fork
What’s for dessert tonight?
Here at the table, I’m gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie

[Verse 2]
Bite after bite, I start to get full
Oh, I’ll probably start to regret
Eating it before it gets cold.

[Chorus]
Hand me a plate, hand me a fork
What’s for dessert tonight?
Here at the table, I’m gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie

[Bridge]
Start to regret it, scarfing that pie down
Feel kinda achy, tummy’s making sounds
I still can taste it, feel like passing out
Feels like I’m dying, lying on the ground

[Chorus]
Hand me a plate, hand me a fork
What’s for dessert tonight?
Here at the table, I’m gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie

[Outro]
Gonna eat a tasty pie
(Open my mouth real wide)
Gonna eat a tasty pie
(Open my mouth real wide)
Open my mouth, open my mouth real wide
Gonna eat a tasty pie
Open my mouth, open my mouth real wide
Barfed up a tasty pie