Posts Tagged ‘song’

(Parody #2 of “Testify” by NEEDTOBREATHE)

[Chorus]
Hand me a plate, hand me a fork
What’s for dessert tonight?
Here at the table, I’m gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie

[Verse 1]
With ice cream, it’s pie ala mode
Oh, do I want a scoop or two?
Wait just a sec. I could use a spoon
Oh, here’s just what I’m going to do
Eat it before it gets cold.

[Chorus]
Hand me a plate, hand me a fork
What’s for dessert tonight?
Here at the table, I’m gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie

[Verse 2]
Bite after bite, I start to get full
Oh, I’ll probably start to regret
Eating it before it gets cold.

[Chorus]
Hand me a plate, hand me a fork
What’s for dessert tonight?
Here at the table, I’m gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie

[Bridge]
Start to regret it, scarfing that pie down
Feel kinda achy, tummy’s making sounds
I still can taste it, feel like passing out
Feels like I’m dying, lying on the ground

[Chorus]
Hand me a plate, hand me a fork
What’s for dessert tonight?
Here at the table, I’m gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie
Give me a piece, it’s called a slice
Open my mouth real wide
Sit at the table and gonna eat a tasty pie

[Outro]
Gonna eat a tasty pie
(Open my mouth real wide)
Gonna eat a tasty pie
(Open my mouth real wide)
Open my mouth, open my mouth real wide
Gonna eat a tasty pie
Open my mouth, open my mouth real wide
Barfed up a tasty pie

This was one of my earliest rewrites; although, I didn’t actually write it down back then. Basically this is one of the earliest parody attempts I remember doing, but I still remember the words.

O Christmas tree,
O Christmas tree,
How ever brown your branches.

We bought you in the early fall.
We didn’t water you at all.

O Christmas tree,
O Christmas tree,
Why did you have to die?

On the first day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me a burger with some french fries

On the second day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the third day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the fourth day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the fifth day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me five feet of rope
…four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the sixth day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me six AA batteries
…five feet of rope
…four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the seventh day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me seven empty boxes
…six AA batteries
…five feet of rope
…four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the eighth day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me eight extension cords
…seven empty boxes
…six AA batteries
…five feet of rope
…four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the ninth day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me nine yards of duct tape
…eight extension cords
…seven empty boxes
…six AA batteries
…five feet of rope
…four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the tenth day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me ten paperclips stuck together
…nine yards of duct tape
…eight extension cords
…seven empty boxes
…six AA batteries
…five feet of rope
…four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the eleventh day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me eleven how-to manuals
…ten paperclips stuck together
…nine yards of duct tape
…eight extension cords
…seven empty boxes
…six AA batteries
…five feet of rope
…four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

On the twelfth day of Christmas, a pragmatist brought to me receipts for reimbursement
…eleven how-to manuals
…ten paperclips stuck together
…nine yards of duct tape
…eight extension cords
…seven empty boxes
…six AA batteries
…five feet of rope
…four brand new tires
…three bars of soap
…two socks that go together
…and a burger with some french fries

Murphy’s La

Posted: September 28, 2015 in music, poetry, song
Tags: , , ,

This idea spawned from a pun. There’s even a tune that’s probably just as bad.

Murphy’s La is the name of this song
It’s about all these things that could go wrong
Your house could burn down when you step out
You could be struck blind and stumble about
An airplane could fall down from the sky
It might hit you, and then you would die
You’re running late, and you lose your keys
And suddenly develop undiagnosed allergies
What else could go wrong? You wonder now
What if you were hit by a falling cow?
Where’d this cow come from? You don’t really care.
‘Cause you’ve just been bitten by a rabid hare.
You think you couldn’t have any worse luck
But out of your eye you spy a runaway truck.
The truck is moving out of control
You step out of the way but fall in a hole
Your day’s getting worse, and it’s not even nine
Now you’re being laughed at by some neighborhood mime
Does my neighborhood have a mime? You ask.
Nope, somewhere else. He was just walking past.
You climb out of the hole, and your whole body shakes
And then you hear a snap as your leg breaks.
Your day’s getting started, and it’s gonna get worse
But that’s just the end of the very first verse.